When Kelly Slattery and Delaney Miller decided to expand their family through adoption, they knew they wanted to explore adopting an older child from foster care. For Delaney, it was about a personal connection since his mother had experienced foster care. For Kelly, it was about making a difference after spending years volunteering with the group Echoes of Hope and seeing the difficulty teenagers aging out of foster care face.
“We did initially think about adopting grade-school-age and above because of time and what we could offer,” explained Kelly. “We initially matched with a 7-year-old, but that fell through. Then, at the very first Kidsave event we went to, the table we sat at was with our daughter.”
Kelly and Delaney reminisced about meeting 15-year-old Jules at that first Kidsave event, remembering how Jules seemed to command the table. Like a domino falling, that first conversation set in motion the events that would change all three of their lives. After spending time in another foster home, Jules reached out and reconnected with Kelly and Delaney. Not long after her sixteenth birthday, Jules moved in with them, and in the spring of 2020, her adoption was finalized.
While Jules’ adoption was a huge milestone for the family, it was just the beginning of their journey. Like many older kids and teens in foster care, Jules struggled adjusting to a stable family life. But Kelly and Delaney never gave up on her.
Not only did Kelly and Delaney persevere in parenting, they dug in deeper and fostered three other teenagers, one of whom they are in the process of adopting today. Sixteen-year-old Ryan had had a tumultuous time in foster care—spending much of his time in group homes—by the time he met Kelly and Delaney. After getting to know each other over a few Zoom calls, Ryan moved in with them just before he turned 17. And while he finally had the love and stability he’d been longing for, he too struggled with the transition.
Over the years, both Jules and Ryan have run away at different times, but they have always come home.
“Every time they call and say, ‘Can we come home?’ the answer is always, ‘Absolutely, I’ll be there in 20 minutes,’” said Kelly. “They’re our kids. People don’t understand that because I didn’t birth them, but they are 100% our kids.”
No matter what issues arose, they faced them together as a family, and both Jules and Ryan are leaps and bounds ahead of where they once were. When Ryan met Kelly and Delaney, he had a 2.0 GPA, and by the time he finished school, he had a 4.0. Both kids are working hard, and the family is participating in therapy together to continue to grow and heal.
When speaking about what helped them to parent teens in foster care, Kelly and Delaney agreed that connecting with other foster parents was the best source of information for them. Additionally, they participated in trauma-focused training which helped them better understand and navigate the issues their children were facing.
“We tried to educate ourselves as much as possible, but reading a book about climbing a mountain and actually climbing a mountain are two very different things,” said Delaney.
Although there have been many challenges in parenting their two teenagers, Kelly and Delaney have nothing but love for their kids.
“They’ve rounded us out. It’s testing and rewarding at the same time,” said Delaney. “And seeing the changes, as incremental as they may be at times, is very rewarding.”
For Kelly, it’s been a gift to be a mom. “Hearing them call me mom just gets me. When Ryan calls me ‘mama’, it just melts my heart,” she said. “Having children makes you a better you. And when you teach you learn, so by teaching them things and teaching them values, it really strengthens us.”
About Weekend Miracles
There are many older kids and teens who need forever families in our Weekend Miracles program. Kidsave’s Weekend Miracles program helps older kids in foster care (ages 9-17) connect with loving forever families or lasting connections. This program is available in Los Angeles, California; Houston, Texas; and Central and Northern Virginia.
