For Julie McKissick, adoption has been a lifelong passion. Julie was adopted as an infant, and, like the first domino falling, her adoption set her on a path to one day becoming a foster and adoptive parent to multiple children.
When Julie and her husband, Dave, started their family, they had a little girl together.
“We had our five-year-old biological daughter, but I couldn’t get pregnant again, so, we decided to do foster care,” said Julie. “It’s been almost 23 years ago now since we fostered for the first time.”
Julie and Dave adopted their son, Jacob, from foster care, and, over the course of several years, fostered nine other children in their home. Julie and Dave were open to adopting again, but it wasn’t possible with the children placed in their care.
Even when the family decided to take a break from foster care, Julie continued to be an active part of the community. As a teacher and special education administrator, many of her students were involved with LA County’s Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS), and she worked closely with them. When a tragedy occurred and one of her students who was living in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC) died while in care, Julie was moved to act.
“I was very angry,” said Julie. “So, I went home, and I said we’ve got to do something productive with this anger, so let’s foster adopt an older child because I know that’s the greatest need and that’s what doesn’t happen very often.”
In Julie’s search to connect with an older child, she came across Kidsave. Julie and Dave began attending Kidsave events and working with staff to find the right match for their family. A Kidsave staff member referred them to a Match Day event with DCFS, and that’s how they met Jamal.
Jamal was 11 years old and had been through several foster care placements already that hadn’t stuck. Julie and Dave noticed right away how much they all had in common.
“Jamal said he wanted to be adopted by a family that would take him to church every Sunday, and our faith is a big part of our lives, so that was a big push,” said Julie. “And he’s into athletics and we’re very active people and he’s academic and we’re very academic, and it just seemed like he was going to be a good match for us.”
And it was. Jamal and Dave turned out to be birds of a feather and bonded over their shared sense of humor and love of running.
“He and my husband are very, very similar personality-wise and with their interests, and he has just come such a long way. It’s pretty amazing,” said Julie. “My husband is his coach; he teaches and coaches high school track and cross country. Jamal goes to school with him every day and is on his team. He’s actually one of the fastest runners in the league right now on varsity. He’s also a top A student, and he was the eighth-grade president at his school. Everybody loves him, and he loves everybody. He’s quite an amazing young man.”
To say they are proud of Jamal would be an understatement. He is 15 now and thriving. While Julie and Dave didn’t have concerns about adopting transracially because of their experiences fostering children of color, they still took steps to ensure Jamal felt comfortable not only in their home but in their community.
“We decided to change churches so Jamal would have a more diverse community, and he actually didn’t feel comfortable with that first group, so we went to another church, and I think we’ve found a good youth group for him now. He just feels like he belongs there,” said Julie. “My daughter is engaged to a wonderful Black gentleman, so we definitely foster cross-cultural integration and love.”
Julie has written a book about her experiences as a foster and adoptive mom called Mama Bear to America's Marginalized: My Journey Through Adoption and Foster Care. Julie's advice to potential adoptive parents is to remember that it's about the kids. Be wise and aware of what’s going on, especially when fostering or adopting older kids, and be patient. Sometimes bonds can take time to build. While Jamal and Dave instantly connected over their shared love of sports, it took a bit more time for him and Julie to build their connection.
“I just wish more people would do it,” said Julie. “I just wish there were more people loving on these kids because there’s just not enough people fostering, and definitely not enough people adopting, and I think they’re missing out. And obviously the kids are missing out, as it’s such a crucial time during that transition to adulthood.”
Weekend Miracles
There are many wonderful kids in our Weekend Miracles program who need a mentor, host, or adoptive family. These older kids in foster care are growing up without the stability and love that all kids need to thrive. If you want to adopt or host an older child, please contact us. We’re happy to answer any questions and help you get started. Email us at weekendmiracles@kidsave.org to learn more. Kidsave’s Weekend Miracles program is available in Los Angeles, CA; Houston, TX; and Virginia.
